The Consequences of Punishment

I never could fathom as a child that I would miss my grandmother’s funeral. She was everything and more for me. I’m currently serving a DBI sentence that of which I have 11 years in on. The punishment from courts was for me to die in prison. When the judge said life I don’t want to believe that she knew that meant you may never see anyone you’ve ever cared for or love ever again. That you will never have a relationship with your children. That your family may become sick and need an organ and you won’t be able to donate to them even though your sentence to die. That the person whom loved you and cared for you most may die knowing that you won’t be able to attend their funeral.

In these 11 years I have been witness to men loosing loved ones from mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, and even kids. Loosing a love one while in prison I believe is a part of DBI that is forgotten when thinking about those serving time. Me personally I am unable to fully grieve which makes me feel less human if that makes any sense. Maybe thats also part of “it” to make prisoners feel like their not people or even human any more. I don’t want to come off as if there weren’t any tears shed by me or any of the other men that have lost loved ones while serving DBI sentences but grieving I believe is more than just shedding tears. I know for me its hard to accept the fact that the 1 person I know would come if I were sent to Siberia in Russia and told that my freedom depended on me getting 1 visit, that she would not have hesitated to travel to see me so that I could obtain my freedom. So dealing with that is extremely hard.

Theses thoughts have been on my mind since August. I also lost a close cousin like 3 weeks after the passing of my grandmother. I brought that up to say that I’ve finally come to the realization of this inhumane DBI sentence that more than 5k men and women in PA are serving has extended/unrecognized affects, this is just 1 of many.

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